Electric Blanket

My mother is always complaining that she's cold. When we were kids, being in the car with our parents invariably resulted in an argument over the air conditioning in summer or the heat in winter. My mother was convinced that my father's intention was to make her cold by blasting her with freezing air or depriving her of heat. Nobody else seemed to have a problem with the temperature, but my mother always insisted that she had no feeling in her toes and that her fingertips were turning blue. So, it became my mission to warm her up and thereby shut her up for good, getting her off my father's case and giving us all a little peace and quiet. And thus began The Quest For The Electric Blanket...

As a kid, I didn't have access to a ton of money, so I figured my best bet was to find an electric blanket that kept her toes toasty without breaking the bank. I asked my grandmother where I could get a good deal, but she merely scoffed and told me to save my money and give my mother a hot water bottle instead. And so, I decided to give her idea a try. However, my mother was not overly impressed when she awoke at 3 am to find her new bedmate was a cold, rubber sack of cold water. It was back to the drawing board.

I did have a bit of money saved, so I headed for our local discount store. I found just what I was looking for: a queen-sized, electric blanket and it was even on sale! I was delighted and quickly handed over my cash, eager to be the one who had once-and-for-all put an end to my parent's disputes and to my mother's suffering. Getting in the door, I pulled the blanket from it's packaging, plugged it in and waited for it to heat up. It seemed to take a while so I went to the kitchen for a snack, completely forgetting that I had the electric blanket heating up in the other room. I was working away on a crossword puzzle when I noticed a funny smell. I thought I could smell something burning. I rushed to the other room to find my poor blanket smoldering - this fabric was obviously not flame resistant. No wonder it was on sale! The electric blanket was ruined and my plans were in shambles.

My mother continued to suffer through the years. We tried everything - from down filled slippers and polar fleece clothing to itchy, woolen long johns. Nothing seemed to work. Nothing seemed to keep her warm. My father learned to accomodate her condition - he took to wearing shorts around the house in winter and staying in the pool during the dog days of summer.

As an adult, I had the advantages of cash flow and experience, and one day I decided to step up to the plate and pick up my quest where I had left off many years ago. I did a little bit of online research and found the cadillac of electric blankets with all the bells and whistles and a warranty to match. My mother has never complained about the cold since, my father seems much more relaxed and I've been able to move on to bigger and better things. But every once in a while I think back to the old days with a shiver. Then I reach over, turn the switch on my own electric blanket to it's hottest setting and revel in the marvels of today's technology.